My introduction into baby wearing was
fairly inauspicious. A kind friend gave me their elite front pack and I was an
instant convert. I loved wearing my wee boy, he loved it too. It was one of the
best gifts I had, it totally changed my parenting and for the better. Being up
at my height and being able to interact with the world was right up his alley.
He refused point blank to face inwards to me and instead demanded to be
outwards facing to enjoy the goings on around us while still being close enough
to cuddle. My absolute favourite thing was taking him on bushwalks, I would go
every week to wander through the forest with him, the freedom of being able to
go ‘off piste’ was great and not having to deal with a stroller in and out of
the car was really handy. It was safe to say my baby wearing addiction was
sealed. When he grew out of his front pack at 6ish months I invested in a
pocket sling and once again lived the high life of baby wearing. Supermarket shops
were a dream, having him close enabled him to interact with me but also kept
him from pulling everything off of the shelf and losing his business at me. The
only downside was that due to bad positioning and a pre-existing imbalance in my body it slowly pulled at my shoulder
making me uncomfortable, this threw my hip out of alignment and ended up with a
dodgy knee, wrist and about 6 months of physio. After this experience you think
I’d give it up. But I loved being close to my boy, and wearing him meant I
could out-manoeuvre any stroller on any terrain. So when he gave up wanting to
be carried at 2 years it was with a sigh I packed away my sling.
2 years later I got knocked up and started to research carriers again.
That is when I found out I was Doing. It.Wrong.
At first I was a bit shocked and defensive,
‘It worked for us’ was my response when I heard people talk about the dangers
of outwards facing and ‘crotch danglers’. I was absolutely certain that my boy
was fine therefore front packs were fine. He wanted to forwards face, so it
must have been right, right?
The truth is, front packs like the elite or the baby bjorn are not designed to be safe on baby’s hips or their wearer and cause not only a bad posture in the person wearing them but an unhealthy posture in baby. They are very trendy though, not a day goes by when a celebrity isn’t snapped with a baby dangling from their front. Narrow crotched baby carriers put pressure on the spine of baby and force the person wearing them to thrust their hips out. They also don’t support the hip joints as they should and can cause hipdysplasia. I was lucky that I had a big butty boy with big butty nappies. I was lucky that he grew out of the carrier before too long and I upgraded to a better carrier. (well better for him anyway).
I was lucky that I was surrounded by knowledgeable women who were also kind and understanding. I was never made to feel bad for my decisions or openly criticised, (thank you Conscious Parenting Dunedin) but I was provided with the right info to make an informed choice. At first I fought back against that informed choice. I demanded to know safe ways to carry my second boy forwards facing in case he was like his brother. I dove into a little pond of cognitive dissonance and wallowed in it for a while. After I got over myself I came to acknowledge I hadn't made the best decision carrier wise, I forgave myself and moved on. I learned that instead of outwards facing I could do a back carry which was more comfortable for both of us and enabled him to face out and me to free up my front. I learned how to position baby in a safe position for their hips and spine. I learned how to use a carrier without stuffing my body up.
And thus started the great baby wearing addiction of 2012, I am so at ease with baby wearing and so in love with the convenience, ease and closeness that I don't even miss our stroller – which I sold to pay some bills a few months ago. I now have a beautiful third hand manduca gifted to me by a wonderful friend, a second hand Storchenwiege woven wrap that I snapped up on a crunchy mums trading page and I still have my trusty pocket sling to use for short trips and as an emergency carrier in my purse for those delicious close snuggly carries. I cannot confirm or deny any perusal of sites offering the beautiful Northern Lights girasol wrap or the manduca limited edition carriers.
...and luckily for me there are LOADS of great resources out there to feed my addiction. Thank you Anna and Slingbabies!
And hooray for New Zealand Baby Wearing Week!
And what a stunning and skilled Babywearer you now are! So lovely to read your honesty around feeling defensive and not wanting to believe it was not the most ideal for your first baby. It is sooo natural to feel that way. And he will be fine! Armed with the knowledge you have now it is hard to accept I know. Much love to you Sian.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for your comments Anna. You were so helpful and non judgemental. Made it easy to find my own way to the facts.
ReplyDelete