Birthing Affirmations

Trusting our own births is one of the most important thing you can do to ensure a physiologically normal birth. A calm relaxed body dilates faster, a relaxed body allows the muscles of the uterus to work more effectively and puts baby under less stress. If anxiety and fear slow labour and make it more painful, then calm and relaxation hasten it and make it feel better. Women who reach deep levels of relaxation can actually have euphoric or orgasmic births. 

The problem comes when we live in a society that tells us birth is to be feared, that it is dangerous and painful and deadly. These messages reinforce our inner doubts and anxieties. A woman who fears birth does not trust her body, she doubts her ability to birth and in a nasty twist of irony, this actually lessens her ability to birth well and birth safely. 

A tense and scared body cannot relax, the uterus does not contract as effectively and it contracts painfully, which ends up being a vicious circle of fear and pain. A tense body does not release oxytocin or endorphins, it releases catecholamines (adrenaline and other hormones) which block oxytocin. This increases heart rate and breathing rate and stresses your baby.
So how do we trust birth again?

One thing that can help are birthing affirmations. They speak to your inner conscious and repeated enough will actually reaffirm your trust in your body. Here are some affirmations you can use. I had mine playing on an audio track so I could listen to them while walking or resting. Print them and put them on your loo wall, make flashcards, have your birthing partner read them to you. Every day absorb these affirmations and let them do their work.

My body is completely relaxed and ready for birth
I feel the waves of labour wash over me
I relax my mind and my muscles.
My body will give birth in its own time.
My body is totally relaxed
My jaw is relaxed my cervix is opening
My baby is totally relaxed
I am not afraid, I am serene
I surrender my body to birth my baby
Every surge brings my baby closer to me
I am a strong and capable woman
I can feel my baby move along the birth path
I surrender to the power of labour
Each wave brings my baby closer to me
My cervix opens like a blossom in the sun
Childbirth is a normal, healthy event
I trust my body, I trust my baby
I relax my body to birth my baby
I will labour like the women before me, with power and in peace
With each breath I relax, my baby is ready
My body is filled with the power and serenity of birth
Birth is a natural and happy event
I feel safe, secure and relaxed
I feel my body relaxing more and more
My baby is ready
I breathe my baby down the birth path
My body opens to birth my baby
My body is loose and limp, my jaw is loose and limp
Each breath brings my baby closer to me
My body is powerful and capable
I am deeply relaxed

My pelvis releases and opens as have those of countless women before me

My muscles are warm and heavy and I am totally relaxed

This is a sacred moment for my baby and I

I am in the moment

I feel each breath as it comes, I feel each surge as it comes and it is wonderful

I move, I sway, I dance, I walk, I squat, I kneel, I birth.

I am ready to birth my baby
I trust the process of birth
Birth is a happy and healthy state of being
Babies are made to be born and my body is made to birth them
Birth is normal and natural
I follow my baby's lead
Babies are made to be born, women are made to birth
I am peaceful, my baby is peaceful
My body opens naturally and with euphoria
I trust my body and my baby
I am filled with love for my baby, my baby is filled with love for me
The hormones for loving and birthing are the same. Love birth
With each surge I feel stronger and more relaxed
I close my eyes and sink deeper into a place of serenity
My pelvis is flexible and open, my baby is ready
The power of birth flows from my head to my belly, from my lungs to my cervix
I honour my mother and my grandmother with this birth
My power comes from within
I breathe, I roar, I sing, I moan I birth.
I look forwards to the time of our birth
My body grew this baby, it can birth this baby
The hormones that birth this baby will let me feed my baby
I sink into the powerful feelings of birth
As each wave crashes on the beach I breathe
Birth is as old as humanity, it is perfect
My body knows what to do, I relax and let it birth in peace
I am serene
I am an island in the ocean and the waves crash over me
We are ready for this baby
Our baby is loved and welcomed and ready
I am ready for birth


Obviously some of these will resonate with you and some will not, you can even write your own! But the key is repetition, every day talk to yourself (er just not out loud?) and reaffirm your power to birth well.

Trust me, 

Trust YOURSELF, trust birth ;)

Hormones in labour

A little infographic I put together about hormones and labour.

Hypnobirthing

I have become a convert to hypnobirthing. When I was pregnant with my first son I was rather sceptical of natural birth, I was keen for any pain relief possible and any mention of a pain free orgasmic birth made me cringe. After a less than spectacular first birth experience which resulted in an intervention cascade and a painful traumatic 21 hrs (you can read about it here) I was willing to check out my options. Turns out that pain medication and a safe healthy birth aren’t always compatible.  So when a friend of mine started to talk about hypnobirthing I was ready to listen, and what she was saying made sense. She had used hypnobirthing for her first labour and was so convinced that she decided to become a hypnobirthing tutor, I feel super lucky that she did otherwise there is no way my second birth would have been anywhere as peaceful and as easy as it was.

When you go into labour stressed out, tense or fearful then your body does not function as it should. Based on our current societal conditioning we are programmed to think labour is painful and usually needs medical assistance. What happens when we hit the fear response is that the body goes into fight, flight or freeze mode taking blood and oxygen away from non essential organs such as your uterus and diverting it to essential organs such as the heart and lungs. This causes the muscles in the uterus to fatigue and not work as well as they normally would. We also release adrenaline - which blocks endorphins and tenses all of our muscles making it harder for the involuntary muscles responsible for labour to do their job. A fearful labour takes place in sympathetic system, this is 'the emergency room' of our body and is basically your flight or fight or freeze response. When we are in this mode we release adrenaline and block oxytocin which in turn makes labour slower and more painful. Hypnobirthing uses the body's natural hormonal processes to both enhance labour and remove pain, flooding the body with endorphins is the trick to a pain free labour. To do this we must activate the parasympathetic nervous system.

Every principle and practice of hypnobirthing is about reaching a state of very deep relaxation so that the uterine contractions are as effective and as pain free as possible. Nothing is forced, in a proper hypnobirth, there is no purple pushing, there is no panting and screaming. It is quiet(ish), controlled and effective.

After my first birth experience anything that would give me the skills to birth more effectively sounded great. Talking to my husband we realized this would be a really effective way of being proactive about birth and address our fears effectively. We signed up.

The basics of hypnobirthing are broken into three main approaches

•       Learning to achieve and maintain deep levels of relaxation through self-hypnosis & breathing techniques
•       Positive repositioning of birth in our subconscious through various techniques such as visualisation, affirmations, fear release and self-hypnosis.
•       Education about normal, healthy pregnancy, labour & birth, and practical physical approaches to birthing effectively.

These techniques together become a powerful birthing companion, they enable you to birth well as well as giving your birth partner really practical ways of assisting

Hypnobirthing is actually just a fancy name for what women have been able to do for centuries, at its simplest level it is essentially just deep relaxation free from fear. Many women ‘hypnobirth’ naturally as part of their labour coping mechanism. Hypnobirthing as a formal technique was developed by Marie Mongan as a response to what she saw as a social and medical undermining of women’s ability to safely birth without intervention. Many people think that hypnosis is the premise of stage shows and kooky 1970’s psychiatrists, I have to admit when I first heard the term, people quacking like a duck on stage passed through my mind. I couldn’t shake the Derren Brown associations. However hypnosis is simply a very powerful way of talking to your subconscious which is already used by high performance athletes, powerful business professionals and performers. We actually engage in self ‘hypnosis’ on a daily basis with our self talk, how often have you heard that using positive self talk will get positive results? Hypnobirthing is no different. We didn’t walk  into a room of swinging pendants or spiraling circles. We simply learned how to access deep relaxation and self hypnosis on our own!

Surge breathing during early labour.
A dark space helps promote melatonin which in turn helps to promote oxytocin

So what is hypnobirthing?

Aim: to give mum and birth partner tools and techniques to approach birth positively & confidently;  birth is calmer, safer, easier and more comfortable.

Philosophy: Birth is a natural, normal, healthy life event, and for a healthy mum, baby and pregnancy, it does not need to be over medicalised. Interventions are not necessary during a normal healthy pregnancy and birth, women’s bodies are not destined to malfunction, birthing with the body is achievable for up to 95% of all mothers.

This is about families at an incredibly special time having the best possible birth for them!

Goal: Gentle safe birth for mum & baby: Both mum and baby are healthy and happy. One is not at the expense of the other. Trust in birth!

Calm + relaxed = parasympathetic system = endorphins = effective, manageable contractions

Obstructions to a relaxed calm and safe birth: Anxiety, fear and tension

Fear, anxiety and tension triggers the sympathetic nervous system response which is FIGHT/FLIGHT/FREEZE

-          Adrenalin no endorphins

-          Tension in birthing muscles

-          Less blood/oxygen to birthing muscles, the uterus is not a defence organ

-          Contractions less effective and more painful

-          Mind sends message to body that it’s not safe to birth

Fear + tension = sympathetic nervous system = longer more painful birth+ higher chance of intervention

Hypnobirthing classes are designed to give us the tools to keep mum and baby calm throughout labour and birth

They teach:

-          How to achieve and maintain very deep levels of relaxation

-          Breathing techniques

-          Self- hypnosis, positive imagery, visualisations, affirmations, fear release to change         negative beliefs/ideas (often held subconsciously)

-          Anchors: touch, smell, words to deepen relaxation

-          Light touch massage, acupressure

-          Education: physiology, nutrition, exercise, DVDs

A huge thanks to Carolyn for providing these hypnobirthing notes.

The whole focus of the classes was about giving us the skills to birth well, they gave me the skills to relax deeply enough and my husband the skills to actively assist in a meaningful and practical way. The classes themselves were really calming, they were my serene spot in the week. Since I stopped doing yoga re-learning to relax was difficult for me and the classes offered some effective tools to do this.  We spent a lot of the time doing deep relaxation and visualization exercises as well as learning about the physiology of labour. I couldn’t help compare these classes to what I learned in my antenatal class and there were
significant differences.  Traditional antenatal classes often tell you that being relaxed makes for a better labour but there is very little info on how this is actually done. Most antenatal classes seem to prepare you for the medical model of birth. Whereas hypnobirthing explains how your body works in labour and how to optimise that.  A relaxed body enables dilation to progress more smoothly and which exercises will allow this to happen.

We  were given a CD with relaxation tracks of hypnotic music and Marie Mongan (the creator of hypnobirthing) talking you through the relaxation process as well as birthing affirmations. For hypnobirthing to work effectively you really need to engage in the process, much of the work done is about re-writing your expectation of birth. Cultural stereotypes like women screaming  in hospitals in lithotomy with useless looking husbands being cursed at while authoritative surgeons did all the hard work are prolific. They sit deep within our psyche and build the expectation that birth is painful, traumatic and most of all – beyond us. This is simply not the case. There are a small percentage of women who are unable to have safe births without intervention. But for the majority of us, when we are given the correct information, tools and support, birth can be powerful, calm and effective. I knew that to have a birth like that I really needed to believe in my body 100% and as such threw myself into relaxation exercises completely. Every night I listened to my rainbow relaxation, at work when I was typing emails I had my birthing affirmations playing on loop. During the evenings my husband and I practiced light touch massage, acupressure, setting hypnotic anchors and deep relaxation. We did visualization exercises together and while he watched movies I listened to my tapes. Because my first birth had been so traumatising I had a lot of work to do to undo my subconscious fears. Our hypnobirthing tutor was amazing at leading us through exercises that helped us break down those expectations. I started to trust my body and was looking forwards to labour, which was completely unexpected. I literally felt like a veil had been lifted.

Relaxing in the shower an hour before birth

As our guess date drew nearer I felt more connected with our baby and the impending birth, I felt so much more prepared than I had for my first birth. My husband was a changed person, he had been anxious about birth and had even asked to not be there. After classes ended he was confident and so calm. When we first started classes we were settled on a hospital birth, without question, but as classes progressed and as we realized we were entirely capable of birthing this baby, we realised a home birth was what we wanted. I didn’t want to be offered drugs, given multiple vaginal exams or hooked up to sensors. I wanted the freedom to birth without an arbitrary timeline and without being bossed into interventions that were not necessary. I didn’t want to relive that feeling of helplessness and fear.  So we made the decision to switch to a homebirth and it was the best decision we made. How did it go?

You’ll have to check out my birth story which I’ll be posting up soon.

Our first feed out of the water.
With special thanks to Jorinde for these beautiful photos

The Power of Touch: Infant Massage

The simple action of touching someone is a powerful thing, right from when baby is born we are encouraged to have skin to skin contact with them. This is because something as simple as a touch can have a potent effect on how our babies do. Babies who are enabled to have direct skin to skin contact with their mothers after being born have more stable temperatures, more consistent heart beat and breathing rates and a more stable blood sugar. Many hospitals are now instigating kangaroo care as part of their premature baby care because being close to mother has a positive effect on baby’s vital signs and improves their ability to thrive. 

Touch can also benefit the mother enabling her to bond via release of oxytocin and promoting the instinct to nurture. Oxytocin is not just essential in labour it is also responsible for bonding, love and milk let-down. Because of this this skin to skin contact and touch has been shown to have a positive impact on breastfeeding, both in initiation to breastfeed and to the promotion of longer duration in the breastfeeding relationship. Touch is one of the key elements to promoting and protecting the parent/child dyad.

Most health carers and scientists tend to agree, there isn’t anything bad that can be said about touch.  In fact touch is a key part of human development which is why baby or infant massage can be such a positive part of the parent/child relationship. Diane Ackerman, the author of 'A Natural History of the Senses,' says, "Touch is a sense with unique functions and qualities ... Touch affects the whole organism." and this has been shown time and time again to be true. Tiffany Field,  who is a leader in the field of touch, found that premature newborns receiving just three 15-minute sessions of touch therapy each day for 5-10 days gained 47 percent more weight than premature infants who had just received standard medical treatment alone. Even as adults we do not thrive well without touch as this article shows. 

I did a baby massage course of with a group of lovely ladies from my antenatal class when my first son was just little. It was such a lovely way to bond with him. It can be hard as a new mother to know what to do with your child when they are brand new. Often it becomes a cycle of sleep cry feed cry change cry cuddle jiggle and you feel like you lose touch with your baby. Infant massage is an ideal way to find a little place of peace in the maelstrom of new motherhood – for both of you, and don’t under estimate the benefit massage can have for fathers and their newborns, it’s the ultimate way of bonding. While mothers and fathers both respond to oxytocin and have equivalent amounts, men have different oxytocin triggers, touch being one of the primary ones. Massage is a potent tool that can help promote sleep and reduce fussing and crying.

Baby massage as we know it now has its founding ayurvedic principles, though there is evidence to show it is a key part of infant rearing in many cultures, in fact the practice of massaging babies is an art passed down from generation to generation and has been evidenced in parenting dating back over 3000 years and in regions as diverse as India, Africa, Asia, and  even in New Zealand in Rongoa Maori. The art of touching your child in a healing way is lovely to watch in practice and witnessing the response in your child is a powerful communication.

Here are some key reasons to give baby massage a go:

• Relaxing. Loving touch lessens tension, fussiness and irritability. Massage is also a wonderful way to lessen stress in parent and baby.
• Digestion. Digestion is aided  by massage as it can provide relief from gas and colic.
• Bonding. Touch conveys nurturing and love, the essential ingredients for emotional and physical growth and well being. It also releases oxytocin which is the bonding hormone.
• Growth. Studies have shown increased weight gain and immune function.
• Communication. Parents become more aware of baby’s nonverbal cues. One-on-one communication instills a baby with confidence of love and security.
• Sleep. As your infant learns to relax and release stress, sounder and longer sleep is often the end result.

Here are some of the techniques I learnt. It’s important to note that I am not an infant massage expert and am offering this information only as an introduction to the skill. The key thing is to remember that infant massage is about the touch and not any therapeutic manipulation.  Most strokes are done with an open hand and are gentle broad manoeuvres.

It is a good idea, though not necessary to use an oil or massage balm, almond oil or olive oil are both good though almond is to be avoided for children with a history of nut allergies in the family. I prefer my own homemade balm made out of beeswax and olive oil because it doesn’t drip and takes longer to absorb so you use less. It is also warmer on the skin.

Before beginning it’s important to ask permission of your baby, people who are not familiar with the concept of communicating with your child even at very young ages  might feel awkward or a little dorky doing this (I don’t need a lot of help in this area) but it is amazing how quickly a baby will pick up on your cues and respond. My way of asking would be to rub my hands together as I warmed up the balm and verbally ask if he would like a massage. Whenever he saw me do this he would relax and coo. If you signal your intent to massage and your baby turns their head away or protects their body with their arms or even cries then now is not a good time. Try again later.

Notice the eye contact that baby is making

You also want to set the mood, gentle music or quiet is preferable as well as dim lights and a warm room. Try and block off any drafts as baby can get cool very quickly when they are naked. The basic principles of baby massage are to start from the feet up and to use gentle non invasive strokes.  You can do as little or as much as you want to while baby enjoys it.

Legs – leg massage is a great entry point and is very non threatening for baby, these techniques also translate well to older children who might get growing pains or stiffness from sport and play. It is a lovely way to reconnect with older children.

1.       Indian Milking: Start at the legs and move your hands down from the thigh down to the ankle twisting as you go, much like you would wring water from your hair. Your hand will be in a ‘C’ shape and one hand will follow the other, as one finishes at the ankle the other is starting at the top. This is known as Indian milking. You want to imagine the stress and tension moving down and out of the legs.

2.       Rolling: Then you want to release the legs by cradling them in your hands and roll them gently like you would roll out a playdough snake and then gently rocking them to encourage baby to relax.

3.       Stroking the ankles: Moving on to the ankles you can use your finger tips to gently use little strokes up  across the foot and towards where the ankle meets the foot, this area has a growth plate and can be sore so this is a really lovely relaxing stroke for growing babies.

4.       Piggies: Next up you can wiggle each on of the toes and sing the little piggy song, you can sing whichever song you want but this one lends itself nicely to toe wiggling

5.       Walking fingers: On the sole of the foot use your fingertips to gently knead  wand walk them over  the whole foot pad.

6.       Hooked finger: Then using the crook of your finger stroke the sole of your baby’s foot, this can stimulate the plantar reflex.

7.       Swedish milking: Finish up the legs with Swedish milking which is identical to Indian milking but instead moves from the ankle to the hip, as a rule all Swedish massage moves from the extremities to the heart and this promotes lymph movement which is a passive system generally.

Stomach – stomach strokes are fantastic for trapped lower wind, colic and fussing. They are beneficial for constipation and bloating. Because of the positioning of the large intestine it is vital that all of the strokes follow a clockwise direction otherwise any gas issues can be exacerbated. Gentle clockwise strokes can help move everything in the right direction.

1.       Waterwheel: Using the sides of your hands, make paddling strokes on baby’s stomach, one hand following the other, as if you were scooping sand toward yourself. Start below the ribs and move into the lower abdomen. Stroke hand over hand with a gentle but firm pressure.

2.       Thumb stroking: With your thumbs at the level of baby’s bellybutton, stroke out to the sides. Be gentle and do not poke.

3.       Sun and Moon: Your left hand begins by making a full circle on baby’s stomach, moving clockwise. Your right hand makes a half circle or crescent moon in a clockwise direction, then lift your right hand up and over your left hand making the continuous circular ‘sun’ strokes.  Repeat the sun moon pattern.

4.       I Love You: This is a three-part stroke, which spells out the message ‘I love you’ to the baby. Baby loves a gentle voice saying ‘I love you’ as you share this stroke. To make the I move the hands down the left hand side of your baby’s torso (their left not yours) then an upside down and backwards L shape that runs across the bottom of the ribs and follows the path of the I. The last stroke is a U shape that goes up the right side of baby’s torso, across the bottom of the ribs and then down the left side.

5.       Palm roll: Putting the heel of your palm on the right lower side of baby’s chest slowly roll the hand like you are placing a palm print on their belly applying a gentle but firm even pressure as you rock the hand over.

Torso - often baby will protect their chest with their folded arms, this is a natural response.  Hopefully the leg massage will have relaxed them sufficiently but if they haven't yet relaxed you can help them by starting with the open book stroke.

1.       Open Book: . Stroke from the center to the side of baby’s chest, following the rib cage, as if you are smoothing the pages of a book using the flats of your hands. Bring your hands around in a heart-shaped motion to the center again and repeat the stroke.

2.       Butterfly: Begin with both hands at baby’s sides, at the bottom of the rib cage. Move your right hand across baby’s chest diagonally to baby’s right shoulder. Massage the shoulder very gently. Move your hand down across baby’s chest to its original position. Repeat with your left hand moving up and across to baby’s left shoulder. Follow one hand after the other, rhythmically crisscrossing baby’s chest.

Arms – the arms are much like the legs, most of the techniques are identical, though babies may not be as relaxed letting you rub their arms so approach it gently and with respect

1.       Indian milking: Do as you did for the legs, starting at the upper arm and moving down to the wrist

2.       Rolling: Roll the upper arm gently between your hands and then carry the weight of the arm and gently jiggle to release

3.       Stroking the wrist: Gently using your fingertips stroke the top of the hand towards the wrist

4.       Fingertips: Using your fingertips gently stroke from the base of baby’s fingers to the tips, using a gently pincer grasp to get both sides.

5.       Palms: Using your thumb trace circles on baby’s palm

Back – baby has to be comfortable on their tummy to use these strokes, brand new babies may not enjoy this . Some alternatives to lying them on the floor are to lay baby across your knees or lie back with them on your stomach.  While your baby is on their stomach you can talk to them to reassure them you are there.

1.       Back and forth: Begin with both hands together at the top of baby’s back. Glide your relaxed hands back and forth, in opposite directions, going down the back to the buttocks, then up to the shoulders, and back down again.

2.       Swooping: Cup baby’s bum with one hand. Beginning at baby’s neck, your other hand glides down smoothly to the buttocks. Repeat the swooping stroke several times

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3.       Long swooping: Support the baby’s feet with one hand and repeat the swooping strokes with your other hand moving all the way down the legs to baby’s feet.

4.       Circles: Use your fingertips to massage small circles on both sides of baby’s spine moving all over the back. Be sure to massage small circles on baby’s hips and buttocks, too. Avoid doing these circles directly on the spine.

5.       Combing: With your hand open and fingers spread apart, gently comb baby’s back starting at the neck and moving to the bum. Your strokes become gradually lighter each time. Repeat several times. End with a very light feather touch. You may also begin with baby’s head and stroke down the back. Be aware that with very little babies they should not be given light touch massage as it can be over stimulating . Keep strokes firm and in full contact until baby is older at around the 5-7 month mark.

Finishing – finish whenever baby tells you they are ready. Whether that is by starting to fuss, turning their head away or closing their body up.

1.       Finish by picking up your baby and cuddling them. Be careful as they can be quite slippery! 

I I hope this helps you establish a loving communication of touch with your baby. Enjoy.